drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
