So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
