I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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