ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
