I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
