oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
