As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
