i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
