I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
