Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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