the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
