I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Rumble strips road head = magical
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
