so that wasnt chicken after all
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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