i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
i now understand why vodka
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
