Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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