ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
