when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
