Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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