Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
