ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
