It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
