Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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