dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
being pregnant is like rehab
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
