the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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