she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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