I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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