Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
