with your own penis?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
