Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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