dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
