Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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