I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
