i think my tv is drunk
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
nutella sex= disaster
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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