no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
