How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize