u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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