just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
