I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
