And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i think my cat just said my name.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
