So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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