another moral hangover. fuck.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
