omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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