Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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