some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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