he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
