he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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