I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
