3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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