I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
