For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
