alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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