I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
two words...techno handjob
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
